John Nenarella
It is with great sadness that we inform you of the passing of John Nenarella on December 12th, 2023.John is survived by his two sons, Anthony and Jeffrey, Jeffrey’s wife Danielle, and many loving family members and friends.
John was born on May 8th, 1947 in San Angelo, Texas. When he was seven he moved to Clark Air Force Base with his mother Jean, father Rocco, and his siblings Jerry, Cynthia, and Joseph. After a year they moved to the base in Wichita Falls, Texas until moving to San Francisco where his father went back to school for engineering. Once he graduated, Rocco moved the family to New York. They stayed with his grandmother Rizzo in New York City until settling in Greene, New York. This is where he would go to high school and meet his future wife, Mary “Honey” Greene.
John attended City College of New York in 1965 where he studied American History. His passion for the Civil War continued for years with research and visits to Gettysburg. After graduating, he moved up to Syracuse and started working in medical risk. He would go on to become a prolific medical malpractice claims investigator over the course of his career.
Mary was also working in Syracuse and she and John would meet at parties from time to time. Eventually they started dating and were married on August 28, 1971. They relocated to New York City for a time before they realized it was not the place they wanted to raise a family. A call came for a new opportunity in a town named Wausau, and Wisconsin would be their new home. Anthony and Jeffrey were born and there they stayed until 1994 when they decided they had enough fun in the winters of Wisconsin and departed for Cooper City, Florida. After Anthony joined the Air Force and Jeffrey went off to college, they relocated to Tampa before finally retiring to their “farmette” in Pinson, Tennessee.
In many ways, John was an unsung hero. His strength came from his unwavering conviction in his principles and his outlook. He loved his family deeply and supported their dreams however he could. John adored his wife, Mary, who was quite the Renaissance woman moving through various fields such as painting, gardening, livestock farming, and writing. John supported her fully, being the behind the scenes collaborator on her many projects. He matted and framed her paintings, which he actually found quite enjoyable. He helped clear the fields for gardening, and he helped her build her dream retirement home in Pinson where she became a true master gardener and author. John considered Mary his best friend and sweetheart. She was truly the light and love of his life.
Beneath his sometimes firm demeanor was an incredibly generous and soft side. For those who understood John, he connected with them wholly and communicated through subtle jokes and quiet nuance as well as verbose directness. But there was always something truly genuine about what he shared with the world. He was always authentic to his beliefs. People didn’t agree with him all the time, but there is something admirable about always being true to yourself in a world where it is much easier to follow the crowd.
John loved good food and wine. He stumbled upon a “Bon Appetite” magazine decades ago and instantly became the chef of the house. Prior to this he had been more the maître d’ of the house, creating weekly menus on the refrigerator that the kids’ friends marveled at. ‘How could anyone think that far in advance when it comes to dinner?’ they wondered. It was a system John would take into his new culinary world where he began to create peppered tenderloin, masterpieces of pasta and sausage, and many more hits that he would always remark “That’s edible” when he was particularly proud.
Wine was a central figure in John and Mary’s casual enjoyment, in particular in retirement. They arranged their picturesque life in a way that no matter what they had going on, every early evening they would stop what they were doing to sit on the front porch with a glass of wine. Dad transformed into the sommelier and brought Mary (and the friends who were often visiting) exactly the right wine for the occasion or the person. He was very observant and detail-oriented. If you needed something, say coffee in the morning, he might share a few choice words as if he didn’t enjoy it, but then immediately bring you coffee to ensure you were taken care of. His grumbling was actually a bit of dry humor in his own way, but he genuinely cared about you. John wanted you to have what you needed to make it a better day for you. He knew that if you were punctual you wouldn’t have any unpleasant surprises. If you had your coffee you would be alert and attentive. And at the end of the day if you had your wine, you would be relaxed and in good spirits.
John rarely opened up about his most inner thoughts, but they were quite deep and insightful. When his mother passed away in 1996, the family gathered together to honor her. In this rare instance, John wrote a short speech he called “Thoughts on the Nenarella Family.” An excerpt is shared below:
“And just who are we? We have been taught to be strong; we have been taught to be independent, to rely on ourselves; we have been taught to think for ourselves and not rely on anyone to think for us; we have been taught that our family is the center of our universe. And that’s as it should be. We may make a lot of money or we may not. What’s important is how we take care of our family and live our lives.”
If you review John’s life, he very much embodied these words. He instilled the same values in his children, and he stood by his family through all of life’s storms. John lived simply in a complex world. He could play solitaire day after day in a world obsessed about the new and innovative ideas. He was content with his beautiful wife, enabling her to achieve her dreams, and his sons, living out their own lives wherever they took them.
While he has left this world to be with his wife, he leaves behind two loving sons who take a piece of him with them. John will be missed tremendously by those he leaves behind, but we share our gratitude for the unique perspective and generosity he has shared with us.
